Monday, February 2, 2009

Frustrations

I have been dealing with feelings of inadequacy and failure for the last few days. It seems as though people are concerned with only telling me what I am doing wrong, or how to do something better. Am I overreacting, or is there validity in their statements?

I can't get over the fact that maybe I really am a bad mom... Carrie is still in diapers; her hair isn't in cute bows; Duncan can't sit still; we hardly ever make it through church without a melt down; my house and car are usually not clean; I'm behind on laundry- all the time; I let my kids watch too much tv; my kids usually end up in my bed at night; I let Carrie sleep in and the list could go on...

I have been trying hard to let the comments roll off of my back, but they don't ever end. I ended up in tears yesterday because of something I hadn't done right with Carrie and Duncan. As I have talked to Scott about it, he reassures me that I am a great mother, and appreciates all I do with the kids.

So, I started to think about what I may be doing right with kids. They love to say their prayers, and remind me of when we need to say them; Carrie and Duncan (for the most part) aren't rude and say please and thank you; I hear "me loves you" all day long; Carrie has been able to get herself dressed since she was 2; they both would rather hear Primary songs than Disney music; they love going to see temples; they make me laugh all day long, etc...

So, forgive me if my kids noses are running, or if they don't go to bed in their jammies. I am NOT perfect. I am learning to be a better mom. I am trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. I'm sorry that my house is messy, but at the end of the day, I love my kids more than I can explain, I am trying to raise them to love the Lord, and hope that despite my shortcomings and faults, people know that my family is the most important thing to me. Maybe one day, when I grow up- things will be different. People won't be so critical, and I won't be so sensitive about it. Until then, I'll keep trying my best to be a good mom.

5 comments:

debra said...

Scott was right- you are a good mom, a dang good one at that! No one is perfect, and I admire you for all you do! Your kids are just darling, and they wouldn't be kids if they didn't test us!

Love you!

Lillie said...

UUUG! I really wish we never had days like that, feeling picked on and criticized. For what it's worth, I think you're great and that your kids are turning out just fine too. I think you are wise to take a step back and look at everything you are doing to raise righteous kids. Keep up the good work!

Joanie said...

Leanne, I'm sorry you are having a hard time. It can be so hard when you are doing the best you can and still feel like you are falling short in others opinion. I remember those days only too well. Just keep doing the best you can and try not to let people's comments get you down.
Hugs, Joanie
(PS Not all kids are alike and THAT IS OK!)

Crockett's Ohana said...

I am sure you are good Mom! People are always giving advice what to do and not what to do. I get it all the time especailly when I had my twins. In face just this last week someone made a comment about my kids. I had to laugh it off. We are Mothers because we want to be and its our calling in Life therefore as long as we are working on becoming better eachday I don't think our Father in Heaven is looking for more.

Anna said...

You are a better mom for your kids and I am a better mom for my kids... That's why they are our kids. Heavenly Father knew that our children needed us and he put them in our homes for a reason... Heavenly Father doesn't make mistakes and I can assure you that you have the patience and knowledge you need to raise your children but not mine. Kids are different and they all have different needs. I admire you for a lot that you can do that I can't... But, I do understand the inadequate feelings... We all have shortcomings and that is normal! We just have to strive to be better people yet stay true to ourselves.

About Me

Spanish Fork, Utah
Scott and I were married in 2003. We had Carrie in 2004, Duncan in 2006 and just had Jack in July. We couldn't be happier. I am currently in school with the hopes of becoming a nurse. Scott works as a machinist. We love hunting, camping, and anything outdoors. We also love the gospel, and the light and joy it brings into our lives. We are striving everyday to be better parents, spouses & friends. Through the atonement, all things are possible.